What is it to be radical?
Today at work I was in a situation where I ended up literally shaking with rage. The adrenaline in me was overtaking my body and I had to force myself to calm down – mostly through the physical of release of crying. Which was annoying, because I wasn’t upset, or worried, just wound up.
This happened at the end of the day, and I found that I was still crying as I walked home, but now I really did feel sad and I just couldn’t work out why. I mean, this person I had been dealing with was one of those who you need a ridiculous amount of grace for, make you die a little inside, and lose a bit of faith in humanity. Maybe an overreaction, but that’s how I felt.
As I was walking I kept trying to turn my mind to Jesus, to thankfulness, to things that, to be honest, matter more than this tiny incident. It was hard, and I basically didn’t succeed. And then I realised why I was still so upset; I felt disappointed in myself that I was reacting in the way the ‘world’ would. That I wasn’t being radical.
Now I’ve had a bit of time away from the situation, I know I can go back in tomorrow fresh-faced and knowing the situation just is what it is. But in that moment, how can I honour this person who has frustrated me; how can I respond in a way that makes people question where I get my identity; how can I be someone who is radical?